Waiting for the Results of New Scan

Monday morning we went to Graham's check-up, fully expecting him to get the go-ahead to start his third round of the Gem-Ox chemo combo. But during the exam, the doctor found a small lump in Graham's chest. Graham said, yeah, he had felt it too a couple of days before. He hadn't told me because he "didn't want to worry you." Hard to be mad at him, because it was nice to feel so positive for those extra days.

But I hate for him to worry all by himself. Maybe that's why he was so foggy Sunday night, because he was worried about the new tumor.

Anyhow, the doctor feels that if there's any new growth at all, it doesn't make sense to continue the same treatment, because even though it helped get rid of many of his tumors, if new ones start, the cancer can get out of control. So Graham will likely start a new kind of chemo on Thursday, in the hospital for a few days.

But just to get a clear idea of what needs to get done, Dr. Advani had Graham get another PET scan. Hopefully, the new tumor in the chest is small and the only one, and the new treatment will likely knock it right out and all is still good. Worst case, it's the tip of the iceberg, and there are more tumors that just weren't visible to the eye or touch, and it will be a challenge to defeat them.

The doctor told us to come back Wednesday morning for the scan results, but we were so anxious, that we got the day wrong, and dragged ourselves in early morning today, Tuesday! Oy.

So we spent the whole day pretending we weren't biting our nails.

The nice part about Monday was when we got home, our friends Jerry and Joyce brought us over a fantastic brisket dinner with mashed potatoes. Since I can barely pull together a decent meal on a good day, this was truly a welcome gift!

Here's Joyce, Jerry and their adorable little dog Morsel.

And then to add to the sweetness, the doorbell rang and it was UPS delivering a package full of goodies from our wonderful neighbors and friends in Durham, Darleene and Wendell. It came from one of our favorite stores there, A Southern Season. Ah, good memories! When we opened the box, this amazing feeling of love just poured over us. It was like getting a hug in the mail from Darleene and Wendell.

Vacations

Bill and Laurel came by Sunday evening. It was fascinating hearing about their recent trip to Hungary and Israel, and about their son's recent wedding in Israel. They told us about how it was a very simple outdoor ceremony, on a hillside without any modern development in sight, with everyone dressed very casually, and how they could easily imagine themselves celebrating in the same way in the same spot a thousand years ago.

Graham and I look forward to visiting Israel again. For years we tended to take turns deciding on where the annual non-family vacation would be. Graham would always want to go camping or on some cycling trip, and I would want to go to Israel or to some relaxing resort. About 6 years ago, I dragged Graham to Israel. It was at the height of the Arab terror war against Israel, before the very effective security fence was built, and he thought it was a crazy time to go. But almost from the first minute we were there, he was enthralled and thankful that he had decided to humor me.

When Graham was diagnosed with cancer, we were in the midst of picking vacations, and of course I had been saying "Let's go to Israel again!" and he had been saying "cycling and camping in Utah!" Even though we were told at the time that he likely had another 7-15 years of good quality life, I felt so bad that he would have so fewer vacations than me, that of course I right away caved and actually agreed to go camping with him and 100 other people who love talking about bicycle gears. Turned out to be a great vacation! But we're still hoping to visit Israel again, perhaps in a year or two when the cancer treatment will hopefully be a distant memory. And Graham has figured out the perfect combo for us - the Bicycle Ride Across Israel. :-)

Graham away from work for 4 months!

I was just looking up how long Graham has been away from work. Almost four months!

He's been battling this stubborn cancer for a long time now. No wonder he needs lots of beauty rest every day.

It's so heart-warming and encouraging for Graham to know that he hasn't been forgotten at work. People from Genentech continue to let Graham know they are thinking of him.

On Thursday, Reuben and Nathila brought warmth and good cheer, the latest news from Genentech, not to mention an amazing yellow, pink and purple melon mousse cake that looked like a work of art. We almost didn't eat it because it was so pretty, but we're glad we did!













On Friday, Heather, Natalie, Jen and Kim from Genentech came by and were so upbeat and fun; they really put us in a good mood. And the goodies they brought...oh my gosh. We've never had such rich, tasty pudding before.













On Saturday evening, Graham was feeling so decent that we joined Laura and Cary at Armadillo Willies, a BBQ restaurant. We always love going out with them because they are such good conversationalists and take an interest in all kinds of topics. And they can disagree with us about politics and candidates without being disagreeable. That's an important character trait all too rare these days.

Sunday afternoon, another Genentecher, Deborah, came over and we played Scrabble. It was a little worrisome because Graham was quite foggy and not up to making his usual high scoring words. Deborah was great about it. As she says, she has the "gift of gab" and just kept up a cheerful patter so that the game was incidental and not the usual (good-natured) competition.

Genentech people are so genuinely nice. I can see why Graham misses work and looks forward to returning there.

New Year Starting Well

Still no noticeable tumor growth! Graham is very tired though, sleeping each day until about 2pm, but he enjoys visitors. They cheer him up and motivate him to take short walks.

Graham's cousins Paul, Avivah and Jonah came from Boston, and cousins Karen and Will came from Bethesda, to help us celebrate Rosh HaShanah (the Jewish New Year).

( In back, Avivah, Paul, Graham, Gary. In front: Karen, Will)

A good time was had by all at an outing to our neighborhood park. Little Jonah had a particularly fun time, eventually shedding all of his clothes and running around naked.


Jonah and Will

Gary, Ellen and Zack also joined us for the festive holiday dinner.(from left to right: Avivah, Karen, Gary, Graham, Ellen, Paul, Will, Zack)

Will and I made sweet round challahs for the holiday meal, and to also give one to our friend Ella, but I forgot that the dough has to rise 3 times, not 2. So they didn't end up going into the oven until after dinner, around 10pm. Better late than never! Good thing the holiday is two days long. :-)

The night before, friends from Genentech, Yaron and Einat, came by to wish us a happy new year. With their two-year-old twins Ophir and Omer and four-year-old Amir, along with Paul and Avivah's 3-year old Jonah, we had a house full of joyful energetic little boys!

Jonah and Amir enjoy the lawn tractor

In Missouri, the tractor was very handy for mowing our lawn. It was a weekly enjoyable two-hour activity. Here in California, it takes longer to start the tractor than it does to mow our Micki-sized lawn.

Will studies with Avivah for his upcoming Bar Mitzvah. Will is the family Boggle champ. Will introduces Zack to the game.

Buoyed by his visiting family, Graham finds the strength to wake up early to go to high holiday services. Here he is looking handsome in his suit.

We went for a walk at Rancho Antonio with Paul, Avivah and Jonah. We saw deer!

Visits from family and friends...what a lovely way to usher in the new year!

WOW!! Amazing Album & Jersey From Biogen Friends

Good thing our terrier terrorist Micki didn't get to fulfill her dream of ripping apart our mailman, because today he delivered to Graham a very special package - an album put together by the people Graham used to work with at Biogen (Bioassay Dept) in North Carolina, along with the latest cycling jersey, complete with signatures, from Biogen's Rolling Clones.

Maureen S. and Randy B. contacted people Graham had worked with, several of whom no longer work for BiogenIDEC, and invited each of them to write a message to Graham, let him know what was happening in their lives, and to include photos.

As Maureen wrote, "I hope you enjoy this book that Randy and company put together. I can tell you a lot of fond memories and funny stories were shared during its preparation...We hope this photo album brings a smile to your face."

Did it ever! Graham was so touched. From the very first page, his eyes started to well. As he turned the pages and saw the notes and photos from more and more people, he needed to reach for his handkerchief.

How incredibly kind and thoughtful it was for y'all to take the time to put this special album together for Graham.

It was wonderful to see how families had grown. We loved the photos of the adorable kids, dogs and cats.

And Graham was so happy to see that the Rolling Clones, the cycling club Graham started to encourage Biogen staff to train for the annual MS 150 bikeride, is still thriving. He was thrilled to get the latest riding jersey and looks forward to wearing it when he eventually gets back to cycling.

You did indeed put a big smile on Graham's face.

THANK YOU Randy, Maureen, Mark, Jenae, Beverly, Miki, Vivian, Mike, Carol, William, Jamie, Tracy, Christy, Bret, Jean, Jenn, Genevieve, Tim, Miles, Scott and Jerry!!

A few sample pages:









Rolling Clones cycling jersey

Encouraging Doctor's Visit!

Here's one of my favorite photos of Graham,
taken at Xcaret in Mexico, several years ago.

So far, so good! It was just a month ago that Graham's doctor told us that Graham likely had less than two months to live, that family should come immediately to say goodbye, but that she would continue to try different chemo combos on him, hoping to find one that would unexpectedly work.

I'm happy to report that Graham is doing much better than predicted. We saw Graham's oncologist today and started round two of the new chemo combo. So far, the chemo has reduced Graham's tumors and the cancer hasn't visibly regrown anywhere in between the treatments. Yay! We haven't had a doctor's appointment where everyone left smiling for quite a while, so this was a welcome change.

Now instead of talking about hospice care and two months until death, Dr. Advani is talking with hope about Graham continuing these treatments for two more months, which would make it likely for him to qualify for the bone marrow transplant (and a potential cure).

Is it due to all the loving prayers being said on Graham's behalf by friends and family? Or does knowing that so many people are rooting for him give Graham the sense of well being and positive energy he needs to help him heal?

We have Jewish friends who have put prayers for Graham in the Western Wall in Jerusalem and many who have included Graham's name (David ben Zev v Leah, David son of Zev and Leah) in their synagogue's prayer for healing. We have Christian, Muslim and Hindu friends praying for Graham's recovery, and a few ethical humanists who are wishing Graham well. Forsan's mom even went to the Al Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem to pray for Graham. :-)

Or, is Graham's turnaround due to our persistent, dedicated and very smart doctor, Dr. Advani? To the researchers and biotech/pharmaceutical companies who created Rituxan and the various chemo combos? Perhaps it's due to Graham's incredible determination and physical stamina, finely honed by years of pushing himself to cycle more and more miles, on more and more challenging routes?

Is it all of the above?

Hard to say. But whatever the reason, we're just very happy, hopeful and thankful.

A big thanks to all of you who have been in touch with Graham to share your concern, love and encouragement.

Hardware Heaven

Graham felt pretty lousy today, but he pushed himself to get out of the house. No surprise, if he's going to go somewhere, it's going to be to his favorite place - a hardware store. And wonder of wonders - after a year of off and on browsing, we actually agreed on a granite pattern to use for a new kitchen countertop after only 5 minutes of looking at the newest samples. And we didn't even go to the store to look at countertops!

When Graham hopefully gets his bone marrow transplant, he'll be in the hospital for a solid month. For six months after the transplant, he's banned from being around all kinds of things like sawdust, so when he's in the hospital, it might be a good time for me to get the messy countertop renovation completed. Supposedly it's only a two-day job. And since the transplant unit doesn't let spouses stay in the patient's room overnight, rearranging all the kitchen stuff in the evenings will keep me distracted.

A Sweet Day!

Lisa C. prepares creme brulee for Graham




Graham had a sweet day today. He woke up around 2pm and felt pretty good. He had much less back pain today.

He enjoyed catching up on the latest email and phone messages. (Jane, that was so nice of you to call from your excursion in Rome!) He even felt like taking a walk around the block.

The walk tuckered him out, but after having dinner and several desserts, he felt revived.

Lisa C. made us a delicious frittata for dinner and creme brulee for dessert. She even brought a blow torch along to caramelize the sugar on top. Wow! Thanks, Lisa. They were both sooo good.

And a big thank you to Ella, for making us her fantastic chicken soup and kasha. Yummy.

I got to run around the block twice today. When I opened the door for Ella, our dog Micki escaped and went tearing down the street. Oh, the unbridled joy of getting to pee in somebody else's yard! Or, perhaps, a chance to find the mailman she is so eager to rip apart. Apparently, Micki thinks the mailman comes to murder us every day, and only due to her barking and shredding of the mail does she manage to scare him off, allowing us to live another day. Thankfully the mailman was nowhere to be found and Micki permitted herself to be lured back home with the promise of a carrot.

After dinner, Graham tubed out. He enjoys shows from the History, Military and Home & Garden Channels. If a program has a plane, ship, power tools, or anything about World War II, he's a happy man.

A Hard Day

Diana and Jeannine from Genentech

Graham woke up with bad pain in his back and hips, and he was so very tired almost the entire day. We had been really hopeful this week, because the tumors in his neck and legs melted away. So we were hoping that all the cancer in between his neck and legs had also melted away. But with this pain, it makes us wonder if the cancer that the PET scan had found in the pelvis is back, or perhaps had never gone away.

The bright spot in the day was a visit from Diana and Jeannine from Genentech. Diana showed us her beautiful photos from her sabbatical in Guatemala with her two sons, and Jeannine told us stories about her dozens of chickens. She also caught us up on the good progress of her son, who broke his jaw and several other bones when he was running hard to catch a ball while keeping his eye on the ball, rather than on the post in front of him. It hurts just thinking about it. We wish him a speedy recovery from his upcoming lip surgery and root canals.

Thank you Ella and Lisa H. We enjoyed your borscht, chicken and cupcakes. And Joni and Bernard - thanks for the awesome cheesecake!! Graham had some at lunch and dinner.

Eye Problem Fades Away; Ice Cream on the Menu Again!

Forsan and Graham

Graham is doing great. He's spending more time awake, and, the really super news, the weird eye focusing problem went away. He's been doing so well Monday and today (Tues), I feel fine leaving him by himself while I run short errands. So I went to the store and stocked up for several weeks. I bought so much, we're ready for an earthquake AND a hurricane. Maybe even ready for a visit from Jon and Kate Plus 8 (my favorite show. Are their 8 kids adorable or what?!)

On Monday, Forsan came to visit. He'll be here until Saturday. Graham and I have been host parents to several international students over the years from places like Egypt, Israel, India, Japan, Chile, Germany and South Korea. We were Forsan's home away from home, way back in his days at Brandeis, when we used to live in Framingham, Massachusetts, about 11 years ago. He's such an amazing person. He came to America from Israel with just a basic command of the English language, but studied hard and learned quickly. He was soon winning writing awards at Brandeis, hosting a radio program, and eventually graduating from Harvard Business School.

Since it's been a week since Graham had the Gem-Ox chemo, he should be over the potential side effect of feeling like he is suffocating if he eats cold food. So last night, Graham cautiously put a spoonful of Ben and Jerry's Mint Oreo ice cream into his mouth. Nothing but happy tastebuds, so ice cream is back on the menu at Chez Green.

Today, Graham slept until 1pm as usual, and has been pretty perky since waking up.

We had a lovely visit from Rabbi E. He shared with us the topics of his high holiday sermons. They sound very interesting and inspiring. Wish we could go, but I can't see Graham lasting through 6 hours of prayers, standing, sitting, standing, sitting.

And then there's the whole theme of the high holidays...who will live, who will die, who will be written into the book of life. While certainly poignant for our circumstances, it would be rather intense. I'd probably start crying, which would be mortifying.

I Can't Believe I Ate the Whooooole Thing!

Another day with no noticeable tumor growth. Yay!

Graham got off to a slow start today. It's normal now for him to sleep until about 1pm or so, but usually at that point he's fairly alert. But today, even after sleeping for so long, he was still really fuzzy. I was hoping that visitors would perk him up.

John and Erika came by in the afternoon to introduce us to their gorgeous new dog Shiloh. What a great dog! Shiloh is already housebroken and knows lots of cool commands, because he had just about graduated from guide dog (for the blind) school, but then flunked out for being slightly too timid.

Is that a gorgeous face or what?!! And look how he's smiling and posing just right for the camera.

Speaking of timid, here's Micki hiding behind a plant,
doing her best to keep some distance from Shiloh.

That evening, Ed and Donna came to visit. They used to live across the street from us in North Carolina, and now we're all living in California!

Donna and Ed, sporting "Friend of Graham" caps

Unfortunately, Graham was still kind of out of it, and wasn't sure if he would even stay awake long enough for me to serve dinner. He said he wasn't at all hungry. Oy!

Ed and I went to Sundance Steakhouse and brought home some amazing prime rib dinners (Thanks, Ed!). Luckily, Graham was willing to attempt to eat a little. Donna is really vivacious and a great storyteller, and Graham was so interested in listening to Donna, that he didn't notice that he was GOBBLING DOWN his entire prime rib and most of the baked potato. It was the most he's eaten at a meal in several weeks. Donna and Ed, can you come to dinner every night? :-)

Leg Tumors Gone!

Graham had a lovely day today. Geoff, a friend of his from highschool, came to visit. They grew up in a small town in Illinois called Danville. It was so great to see Geoff!

Graham had more energy today, so we enjoyed a walk around the neighborhood.

The other super news is that the tumors in Graham's legs appear to be gone! And Graham stayed awake until 11pm instead of the usual 7 or 8pm.

Hope springs eternal.

Geoff, from Illinois

The Good Thing About Cancer Is...

The media inundates us with news about evil deeds, crass culture, and focuses our attention on nonsense. One would think we live in a horrible hopeless and pointless world.

If there's a positive thing to come out of living in Cancerland, it's that we are privileged to experience how good, how genuinely sweet, people can be. The care, love and support that have been showered upon us have been amazing and so heartwarming.

Graham feels very cherished.

We've missed a lot of calls because I tend to let the voicemail take messages when Graham is sleeping or otherwise not up to talking. But please know that one of our favorite activities each day is playing back the messages and reading all your emails and cards. It makes Graham feel very mellow and content.

If we don't call you back, it absolutely doesn't mean that your message wasn't treasured and appreciated; it usually just means that every time we went to pick up the phone to return a call, it rang and we got consumed with talking with others.

Some people whose email addresses I don't have, particularly Graham's work friends, have sent cards or left notes on the blog, and the blog's reply feature doesn't seem to be working, and it doesn't record anyone's email address. So, to those wonderful folks, please send me your email address, so we can get back to you. Email can be sent to us at leegreenmo@aol.com . Thanks!!

Kindness

Gorgeous balloon bouquet from the people I work with at CAMERA

Graham slept 19 hours, off and on, today! I hope that means that his body is using almost all his energy to chew up the tumors, rather than the other way around.

We've reached the point where I don't feel comfortable leaving Graham alone. So all the necessary errands (e.g. going to the pharmacy, grocery store, bank, dentist) that I used to never think twice about doing, now have to be carefully coordinated with the help of friends and family.

So it was a big relief that several people have offered really specific things they could do, like petsitting, taking Micki to the groomer or vet, picking up dry cleaning, going to the grocery store for me, or visiting with Graham for an hour while I run errands or go to a doctor's appointment.

Thanks Alice, Ruthie, Lisa, Anna, Ella, Natalie, Gary, Harriet, Cary and Laura!

And thank you to Lisa, Juliette, Marilyn and Norm for the delicious homemade food you brought over today.

Tumor Fever or Side Effects?

Yikes. Graham woke up around 8pm Wednesday night with more chills and teeth chattering. He had a mild fever. Not sure if it's "tumor fever," a nightly fever and chills generally associated with having a heavy tumor burden. Or, it might be a side effect of one of the chemo drugs. The nurse warned us that he might get flu-like symptoms.

Since he had similar chills also right before treatment, my guess is that it's tumor fever. Hopefully as the chemo chews up more of his tumors, his nightly chills and fevers will eventually fade away.

After warming him up, we had a picnic in bed with Lisa's yummy chicken fried rice and Jerry's mashed potatoes.

Sleepy Day; Mmmm is for mashed potatoes

Wednesday, Graham slept until 1pm, then we went in for a quickie visit to Stanford to get a Neulasta shot to rev up his white blood cells, to prevent them from crashing and making Graham more susceptible to infection. After that, back at home, he enjoyed talking to visitors and callers, and then crashed around 5 and is still sleeping as I write.

He's going to be a happy boy when he wakes up to find all kinds of goodies from friends and neighbors. His buddies from Biogen Idec in North Carolina, where he worked 7 years ago, sent him a glorious fruit basket. Our neighbor Lisa H made him some utterly fantastic chicken fried rice for dinner and pasta for tomorrow's lunch. And Jerry and Joyce B from our chavurah made him a gigantic bowl of delicious buttery creamy mashed potatoes. Mmmm.

These are all the perfect combination of slippery and high calorie foods that he needs right now. He still doesn't have much of an appetite, so if he's only going to eat a little bit, he needs to pack the calories in. And his throat and salivary glands still aren't totally recovered from the radiation, so the food still needs to be somewhat slippery.

Gem-Ox: Watch Out for Cold Air!

Tuesday, Graham spent all day at Stanford getting the chemo. Dr. Advani came in, even though it was her day off, to say Hi to Graham and see how he was doing. After she left, Graham said, "We're so blessed to have such a caring doctor."

Dr. Advani had looked up the latest research, searching for new chemo combos Graham could try, and found a recently published paper about R-GemOx: Rituxan, and then Gemcitabine and Oxaliplatin. The odd temporary potential side effect of Oxaliplatin is that if you touch or ingest something cold, or even breath in cold air, you may feel like you are suffocating. Doesn't sound like much fun. So the nurse warned Graham to not open the refrigerator or freezer, and definitely to not eat ice cream, his preferred food these days. Alas.

So first thing the next morning, as part of his usual routine, Graham opened the refrigerator to give little Micki her favorite morning treat - a baby carrot. Yikes!!

But thankfully, nothing at all happened.

Micki loves baby carrots!

Which just goes to show you, the medical professionals cautiously and rightly give us warnings of potential doom, but it doesn't mean the doom will actually happen. As my wise neighbor Pam wrote to us, "The doctors are only practicing medicine, you know. No one can account for, or predict, the tenacity of the human spirit."

Chills and Thrills. Rituxan to the rescue!

Sunday night, Graham woke up in the middle of the night with really bad chills. His hands were like icecubes and his teeth were chattering. Happily, snuggling close together warmed him right up. I wish I could fix the rest of his disease as easily!

On Monday, Graham went to Stanford Cancer Center to get Rituxan by IV. He was very lethargic, walking and speaking so slowly, and his left eyelid was drooping a bit more than the also droopy right one. He had no appetite and just wanted to sleep. It was so very sad to see him like that. Instead of the usual recliner, they gave him a room with a bed to receive the infusion.

Within three hours of getting the pre-meds and Rituxan, he was feeling soooooo much better. He was bright-eyed, alert, and wanted to eat. Good thing his boss, Ruska, recently gave Graham an "Emergency Chocolate Bar" that we had brought with us. Perhaps the new drug combo Stanford should recommend to all is R-Choc. :-)


Graham's bosses, Ruska and Peter, visit Graham and wear "Friend of Graham" (FOG) caps.

We were there until about 7pm and would have been pretty hungry, but we were saved by Jean M. coming by in the afternoon to deliver some delicious homemade pureed veggie soup. It really hit the spot. Jean, your timing was perfect.

Graham's brother Gary was also at Stanford that day, going through the next level of tests, to make sure he was safe to donate bone marrow to Graham in case we can move forward with the transplant at some point. Gary's test results were all fine. So if Graham's cancer can be controlled for 4 weeks, everything is all ready for him to get a transplant.

Back at home we had a late dinner with some more of Aunt Marie's stuffed cabbage, as well as all kinds of goodies given to us by our neighbor Ella. She made us homemade gefilte fish (nothing like that horrid stuff in the jar!), a delicious mushroomy version of devilled eggs, chicken in pastry, and this amazing eggplant mixture whose name I always forget. What a cook! And what a relief to be able to come home to good food instead of the usual TV dinners. Thanks Jean, Marie and Ella!

A Walk in the Woods

When we moved to California, we were happy that we had some family nearby. There's Graham's brother, Gary, in Berkeley, and Graham's cousin's sister-in-law, Ellen, in Sunnyvale, and her family. Ellen and Rick have been so kind to us and invited us for Thanksgiving and Passover, and they've joined us for Rosh Hashanah.

Ellen, Rick and their son Zack came to visit today and, O Happy Day, Graham felt like getting out of the house and taking a walk in the woods! So off we went to Huddart Park, where we strolled along one of the tamer trails.

Unfortunately, Graham's eyes weren't focusing well together, so it was disorienting for him to walk and look around. He said it sort of felt like he was on drugs, and not the prescription kind. (Hmm, how does he know how that feels? )

We walked for just a short time, perhaps a half hour, but it tuckered Graham out for the rest of the day.

Ellen is a talented artist. (You can see her online gallery here)

Here's a lovely painting that she gave to Graham, entitled "View from the Nest".

Bye-Bye Hair!

Here's a quick look at Graham's hair loss due to chemo:

Graham (with Forsan) in December 07, before chemo, with full beard.



After second round of chemo (R-Chop), Graham shaved off his beard because it was getting so sparse. His hair started to thin quickly also.


You can also see the surgery scar from where a lymph node was removed for biopsy. They tried to determine which kind of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma Graham had, but the lymph node had already died (typical for large cell aggressive lymphoma). So Graham got a big ole scar, but no information.

GOING:

GOING:

GONE! Bye-bye hair.

Most of his hair fell out after the second round of chemo. It came out so quickly that every morning Graham would have to vacuum his side of the bed.

Small area of sheet, full of hair, before the daily vacuuming

Graham's eyebrows have also thinned, as has the hair in some other places. After each round of chemo, he lost more and more hair.

At first I was startled by Graham's bare face, but I think he looks even more gorgeous now that we can see his whole face. And since his beard had been mostly gray, he also looks 10 years younger!

Family! And a Trip to the ER.

We had a GREAT week with family. They really raised our spirits.
Elliot, Connie and Lauren came from Durham, and Erica came from New York. Jerry and Marie came from Bethesda.

In back: Lee's brother Elliot, sister-in-law Connie, Graham
In front: Lee's sister Lauren, and Elliot's daughter Erica

Since Erica has just started her cool new sports marketing job in New York, she could only stay for a day. What a sweetie she was to come all this way for just a day to give Graham a hug.

She delighted us with her lively stories about her new job,
living in New York with her "minimalist" boyfriend,
and her adoration for her I-Phone. :-)
Apple should definitely hire her as a spokesperson.
Erica is such a ray of sunshine, so like her amazing father.

Erica and Micki

Mom was hoping to come too, but she had to cancel at the last minute due to getting a nasty bug and not wanting to pass it on to Graham. Mom, we missed you!

On Sunday, unfortunately, Graham got increasingly feverish and lethargic, and was having bad pain in his back and chest, so we went to the ER, where we waited about 3 hours just to get seen by a doctor in training. We were getting pretty hungry, so Elliot and Erica came to our rescue with Haagen Daz ice cream. Man is that stuff good! It perked Graham right up.

After another 2 hours of waiting for test results, the doctors determined that Graham was anemic and needed two units of blood. Since it was almost midnight, we decided to get the transfusion the next morning.

Monday morning, Graham's Uncle Jerry and Aunt Marie arrived. We took all our guests to the Stanford Cancer Center, and we kept Graham company for the 7 hours it took to get the transfusion. Graham's brother Gary, who lives in Berkeley, joined us when he got off of work. Graham went from being a paleface to quite rosy-cheeked.

It was so comforting being surrounded by so many loved ones!

At Stanford Cancer Center

Tuesday, Graham felt energetic and good. I was hoping that his intense lethargy these past few weeks was perhaps just due to the anemia and not the cancer, but by Wednesday, he was already back to feeling soooo very tired and sleeping 12 hours and then needing a nap later in the day.

Wednesday, Jerry and Marie joined us for our appointment with Dr. Advani. They agreed with us that we are in skilled and caring hands.

Graham's uncle Jerry, aunt Marie and brother Gary

The scary new development is that Graham seems to be having neurological symptoms. His eyes are sometimes focusing independently of each other. Dr. Advani said that he could be admitted for emergency chemo if it gets worse or if his chin starts to feel numb. Otherwise, she wants him to wait until Monday for the next round of chemo so he can gain strength and have his throat heal some more.

Marie and Gary spent the afternoon making Graham one of his favorites - stuffed cabbage. We have enough to last quite a while! Yummy. Wonderful comfort food.

BAD, SAD news

Horrible, horrible news today. Graham won't be able to have the bone marrow transplant as planned, because test results from yesterday's PET scan show that the cancer has spread all over. It's in his skull, neck, chest, lungs, belly, spleen, under arms, thigh...

The doctors want to see if chemo will beat it back down again well enough for him to be able to get a transplant. But he's already been treated with the most powerful chemo combos without success, so the odds aren't good. The doctor told Graham to put his affairs in order because if the chemo doesn't work, he will likely have less than two months to live.

It's so unfair. Graham is such an incredibly good person, an absolute mensch, and way too young.

It's still possible that things will work out. We'll continue to hope for a good outcome, but will plan for all possibilities.

We're looking forward to having our East Coast relatives visit.

Hugs to everyone.