Here are some lovely letters that were written to Graham shortly before he died, or about Graham after he died:
[To see the rabbi's remarks about Graham, his obituary, and other letters about Graham, scroll down to previous posts.]
Here's a note from my sister, Lauren:
Graham, you are a very special man who is loved so very much. You leave your imprint where ever you go. You have a very special way of touching others and building things. By giving a warm smile, a lending hand, listening to others, just being yourself, creating beautiful things in your gardens, taking care of your many plants, building things that last, fixing things around the house and in your other homes, yes, you are quite the handy man with the green thumb. Everyone loves to see your many creations and the special way in which you treat each person you meet with love and respect. Whenever I see something that you have made or touched I will always think of you. You will never ever be forgotten. You are a special man who is loved by all who know you.
From friend, Geoff G (IL):
Graham, when I was out there in September, I was (once again) reminded why your friendship has meant so much to me over the years: you are a gentle and kind person...offering help in whatever ways you can. We have known each other for more than forty years, and I am profoundly moved that you have seen fit to keep in touch with me over the years. I am a better person for your friendship....
From friends/neighbors, Bob and Barbara J (NC):
Graham, we will remember you as a thoughtful, caring friend and a truly good person: a mensch. Please know that your life has touched ours in so many ways. Your courage and spirit in the face of the worst adversity is an inspiration to us, and surely to many others.
From co-worker, Jenae (NC):
I have a few memories that I would like to share from my time as Graham's direct report at Biogen from 1999-2002: He was one of my favorite people...He was always such an ally for me during my time in Bioassay. I think it was because he liked the way I wrote. Graham was really a stickler for good grammar...
One of my favorite moments was when we went out to golf as a team building exercise in 2000 with the Bioassay group...The green was infiltrated by geese. We were kind of stumped for a moment and tried to wait it out for awhile to give the geese time to pass through before we regained play. That is, until Graham had an idea...He leaned over to Mark and said, "I am going to bark and see if they will fly away". So Graham took a deep breath, and before we knew it, he proceeded to bark and walk toward the geese. We all stood in amazement as the geese scattered. This, by far, had to be one of the funniest moments, and one that I wished we had captured on tape....
I will never forget my practice rides with the clones [The Rolling Clones, the Biogen cycling team that Graham started] back in 2000. I really had never ridden great distances before, so I was a true amateur. I only felt comfortable on a ride if either Graham or Scott were a part of it. I remember that Graham always had such kind words of encouragement. He was part of what kept me motivated to complete the MS 150 tour. He would tell me (even on the challenging rides) that he thought that I was a really good rider and very fit for seeing it through to the end, and that he was amazed by my progress. Although I had my doubts about myself, it was really great to hear, and helped me through.
I remember that during practices, if anyone broke down on the road, he ALWAYS had the right tool to get them back on the road. We were amazed at how much one little bike pouch could hold. Oh, and of course, there was the notorious orange flag, which became Grahams signature during the rides and the tour.
During the tour, he was a true diplomat for our team, ensuring the "no rider left behind" policy, and took it upon himself to make sure that everyone was okay. It was all about the team. He had a heart for each of us, and a motivation for all of us to succeed. Graham will be missed in this world....
From co-worker, Rob M (MO):
It’s not often in life, and less so in our professional careers, that we have the privilege to know and learn from someone like Graham. His passion and genuine concern for people is one of the things that I’ve kept with me as a gold standard. I know that if I’m able to keep his spirit of concern for others in mind, I will be a better scientist, better mentor, and overall better person. Graham will continue to stay with me and if I do things well I hope to pass on a bit of that compassion to those I guide.
From sister-in-law Connie:
I keep thinking of all that Graham is. One quality that seems to stand out is his lack of mean-spiritedness. I don't think he has an unkind bone in his body. Here's my personal list of what I've been able to see in Graham:
Kind
Generous
Caring
Interested
Never give up attitude
Organized
Neat
Committed
Positive
Helper
Great Photographer
Intelligent
Unselfish
Great Smile
This might sound silly but I always have loved the fact that Graham is a slow eater. I could always count on not being the last one to finish when going out to dinner. He and I are equally slow! Yea! Also I could always count on him enjoying a glass of wine so I was able to enjoy as well.
From friend, Yaron P (CA):
We are so sorry to hear about your (and ours) loss. We will miss his charming smile and great sense of humor. I feel lucky to had the chance to get to know Graham, not only because he was a real nice guy but also because he gave me the most beautiful present one can give. He "infected" me with his passion and attitude about cycling and it became my biggest hobby (or addiction) ;-)
From co-worker, Beverly C (NC):
Graham was one of those bosses that are rare. He gave me the most encouragement of any boss I have had to date and let me know how much he appreciated my efforts.
From co-worker, Sarah K (MO):
Graham has been the only manager at his level that actually showed care and concern and appreciation of the people around him regardless of their role or level in the business. There were days when he would come over to the cubicle area that I worked in just to say good morning to everyone and see how they were. Keep in mind that this was about 5 years ago and from that time till now there is not another manager at his level that has ever done that. Graham has set a standard far above the bar for any Manager.
He is the kind of man that people want to look out for them and to stick up for them when needed. I will never forget him or his ethic at work and I will always compare any new managers in the future to his previous position here and to his demeanor. So far all have failed in comparison to his kindness, concern and love of people. It's amazing how much you can take for granted in a person until they are no longer there. He has encouraged me to be kind to others and to appreciate everyone regardless of who they are or what their job is.
THANKS:
I have so many sweet people to thank.
To my brother Elliot, thank you for hanging out with me practically 24/7 that first week after Graham died. Your presence was immeasurably comforting.
To Jaye and Karen, thank you for scouting out the hotels in Chesterfield and finding the family such a perfect place to gather.
To our wonderful family (Gary, Frada, Devonie, Jerry, Karen, Bob, Will, Paul, Elliot, Lauren, Andre) who traveled to Chesterfield for the funeral...it meant so much to me that you were all there.
To our Shaare Zedek friends in Chesterfield...thank you for all the incredible meals and the warm support you provided me and our family while we were in town. Rabbi Fasman, thank you for all the time you spent with the family the night before the funeral. You facilitated a wonderful discussion among us, full of great stories and memories about Graham. And your remarks about Graham at the funeral and shiva service did him a great honor.
To all of our friends and Graham's co-workers who came to the funeral, the shiva services and/or the open house for Graham...THANK YOU!! A special thanks to Debbi B, Geoff and Rebecca G who traveled from Illinois and Dan D from Nebraska. That was so sweet of you to come all that way to pay your respects to Graham. Thanks to everyone who brought food to the shiva services and/or made donations in Graham's memory.
Marilyn and Don in River Bend, thank you for the neighborhood get together. It was so comforting to see all of y'all.
Joni and Bernard, thanks for arranging for me to have a much needed massage at the hotel!
Genentech friends, thank you for the thoughtful and delicious basket of goodies that you sent to us while we were in Chesterfield. Everyone enjoyed the treats, especially the chocolate babke.
Ella, thank you for picking me up at the airport so late at night, and for filling my empty kitchen with all the staples. You're so thoughtful!
Biogen friends, the gorgeous plant you sent is much appreciated. Graham always loved to have such pretty plants around the house.
Nadia and Roy, thank you for the "memories" note and the basket of goodies. :-)
Joan T, thanks for the awesome meat and cheese platters for the shiva service.
Congregation Beth Jacob friends, thank you so much for your warm support and for organizing the shiva food here in Redwood City.
CAMERA friends, the shiva platter with the smoked fish spreads and deviled eggs was much appreciated. The protein among all the carbs was very welcome!! And most of all, I thank you for allowing me to take such a prolonged leave of absence from work to take care of Graham. You're the best!
Lisa and Don, thanks for taking care of Micki while I was in Missouri. That was a huge relief not to have to put her in a kennel.
[To see the rabbi's remarks about Graham, his obituary, and other letters about Graham, scroll down to previous posts.]
Here's a note from my sister, Lauren:
Graham, you are a very special man who is loved so very much. You leave your imprint where ever you go. You have a very special way of touching others and building things. By giving a warm smile, a lending hand, listening to others, just being yourself, creating beautiful things in your gardens, taking care of your many plants, building things that last, fixing things around the house and in your other homes, yes, you are quite the handy man with the green thumb. Everyone loves to see your many creations and the special way in which you treat each person you meet with love and respect. Whenever I see something that you have made or touched I will always think of you. You will never ever be forgotten. You are a special man who is loved by all who know you.
From friend, Geoff G (IL):
Graham, when I was out there in September, I was (once again) reminded why your friendship has meant so much to me over the years: you are a gentle and kind person...offering help in whatever ways you can. We have known each other for more than forty years, and I am profoundly moved that you have seen fit to keep in touch with me over the years. I am a better person for your friendship....
From friends/neighbors, Bob and Barbara J (NC):
Graham, we will remember you as a thoughtful, caring friend and a truly good person: a mensch. Please know that your life has touched ours in so many ways. Your courage and spirit in the face of the worst adversity is an inspiration to us, and surely to many others.
From co-worker, Jenae (NC):
I have a few memories that I would like to share from my time as Graham's direct report at Biogen from 1999-2002: He was one of my favorite people...He was always such an ally for me during my time in Bioassay. I think it was because he liked the way I wrote. Graham was really a stickler for good grammar...
One of my favorite moments was when we went out to golf as a team building exercise in 2000 with the Bioassay group...The green was infiltrated by geese. We were kind of stumped for a moment and tried to wait it out for awhile to give the geese time to pass through before we regained play. That is, until Graham had an idea...He leaned over to Mark and said, "I am going to bark and see if they will fly away". So Graham took a deep breath, and before we knew it, he proceeded to bark and walk toward the geese. We all stood in amazement as the geese scattered. This, by far, had to be one of the funniest moments, and one that I wished we had captured on tape....
I will never forget my practice rides with the clones [The Rolling Clones, the Biogen cycling team that Graham started] back in 2000. I really had never ridden great distances before, so I was a true amateur. I only felt comfortable on a ride if either Graham or Scott were a part of it. I remember that Graham always had such kind words of encouragement. He was part of what kept me motivated to complete the MS 150 tour. He would tell me (even on the challenging rides) that he thought that I was a really good rider and very fit for seeing it through to the end, and that he was amazed by my progress. Although I had my doubts about myself, it was really great to hear, and helped me through.
I remember that during practices, if anyone broke down on the road, he ALWAYS had the right tool to get them back on the road. We were amazed at how much one little bike pouch could hold. Oh, and of course, there was the notorious orange flag, which became Grahams signature during the rides and the tour.
During the tour, he was a true diplomat for our team, ensuring the "no rider left behind" policy, and took it upon himself to make sure that everyone was okay. It was all about the team. He had a heart for each of us, and a motivation for all of us to succeed. Graham will be missed in this world....
From co-worker, Rob M (MO):
It’s not often in life, and less so in our professional careers, that we have the privilege to know and learn from someone like Graham. His passion and genuine concern for people is one of the things that I’ve kept with me as a gold standard. I know that if I’m able to keep his spirit of concern for others in mind, I will be a better scientist, better mentor, and overall better person. Graham will continue to stay with me and if I do things well I hope to pass on a bit of that compassion to those I guide.
From sister-in-law Connie:
I keep thinking of all that Graham is. One quality that seems to stand out is his lack of mean-spiritedness. I don't think he has an unkind bone in his body. Here's my personal list of what I've been able to see in Graham:
Kind
Generous
Caring
Interested
Never give up attitude
Organized
Neat
Committed
Positive
Helper
Great Photographer
Intelligent
Unselfish
Great Smile
This might sound silly but I always have loved the fact that Graham is a slow eater. I could always count on not being the last one to finish when going out to dinner. He and I are equally slow! Yea! Also I could always count on him enjoying a glass of wine so I was able to enjoy as well.
From friend, Yaron P (CA):
We are so sorry to hear about your (and ours) loss. We will miss his charming smile and great sense of humor. I feel lucky to had the chance to get to know Graham, not only because he was a real nice guy but also because he gave me the most beautiful present one can give. He "infected" me with his passion and attitude about cycling and it became my biggest hobby (or addiction) ;-)
From co-worker, Beverly C (NC):
Graham was one of those bosses that are rare. He gave me the most encouragement of any boss I have had to date and let me know how much he appreciated my efforts.
From co-worker, Sarah K (MO):
Graham has been the only manager at his level that actually showed care and concern and appreciation of the people around him regardless of their role or level in the business. There were days when he would come over to the cubicle area that I worked in just to say good morning to everyone and see how they were. Keep in mind that this was about 5 years ago and from that time till now there is not another manager at his level that has ever done that. Graham has set a standard far above the bar for any Manager.
He is the kind of man that people want to look out for them and to stick up for them when needed. I will never forget him or his ethic at work and I will always compare any new managers in the future to his previous position here and to his demeanor. So far all have failed in comparison to his kindness, concern and love of people. It's amazing how much you can take for granted in a person until they are no longer there. He has encouraged me to be kind to others and to appreciate everyone regardless of who they are or what their job is.
THANKS:
I have so many sweet people to thank.
To my brother Elliot, thank you for hanging out with me practically 24/7 that first week after Graham died. Your presence was immeasurably comforting.
To Jaye and Karen, thank you for scouting out the hotels in Chesterfield and finding the family such a perfect place to gather.
To our wonderful family (Gary, Frada, Devonie, Jerry, Karen, Bob, Will, Paul, Elliot, Lauren, Andre) who traveled to Chesterfield for the funeral...it meant so much to me that you were all there.
To our Shaare Zedek friends in Chesterfield...thank you for all the incredible meals and the warm support you provided me and our family while we were in town. Rabbi Fasman, thank you for all the time you spent with the family the night before the funeral. You facilitated a wonderful discussion among us, full of great stories and memories about Graham. And your remarks about Graham at the funeral and shiva service did him a great honor.
To all of our friends and Graham's co-workers who came to the funeral, the shiva services and/or the open house for Graham...THANK YOU!! A special thanks to Debbi B, Geoff and Rebecca G who traveled from Illinois and Dan D from Nebraska. That was so sweet of you to come all that way to pay your respects to Graham. Thanks to everyone who brought food to the shiva services and/or made donations in Graham's memory.
Marilyn and Don in River Bend, thank you for the neighborhood get together. It was so comforting to see all of y'all.
Joni and Bernard, thanks for arranging for me to have a much needed massage at the hotel!
Genentech friends, thank you for the thoughtful and delicious basket of goodies that you sent to us while we were in Chesterfield. Everyone enjoyed the treats, especially the chocolate babke.
Ella, thank you for picking me up at the airport so late at night, and for filling my empty kitchen with all the staples. You're so thoughtful!
Biogen friends, the gorgeous plant you sent is much appreciated. Graham always loved to have such pretty plants around the house.
Nadia and Roy, thank you for the "memories" note and the basket of goodies. :-)
Joan T, thanks for the awesome meat and cheese platters for the shiva service.
Congregation Beth Jacob friends, thank you so much for your warm support and for organizing the shiva food here in Redwood City.
CAMERA friends, the shiva platter with the smoked fish spreads and deviled eggs was much appreciated. The protein among all the carbs was very welcome!! And most of all, I thank you for allowing me to take such a prolonged leave of absence from work to take care of Graham. You're the best!
Lisa and Don, thanks for taking care of Micki while I was in Missouri. That was a huge relief not to have to put her in a kennel.
