My Remarks About Graham at Dedication of Gravestone

Graham was a wonderful husband.  He always made me feel loved and appreciated.  He showed his love in so many ways: 

Graham would call me in the middle of every work day just to say a quick Hi, to let me know he was thinking of me.  

He liked me to go cycling with him, even though I was WAY slower.  When we would come to a hill and I was struggling, he would ride beside me and put his hand on my back and basically push me up the hill!   

To further entice me to go riding with him, he bought a tandem bike for us, which I thought I was helping to pedal.  But one day my feet fell off the pedals, and it made ZERO difference to our speed.  I realized then that Graham had always been pedaling for the two of us because I wasn't pedaling hard enough, and he never once complained.  When I called it to his attention, he just said, “Oh honey, it’s fine.  It’s great training for the MS 150 bikeride.”

Early in our relationship, Graham agreed to our getting a cat, even though he wasn't very fond of cats, only because I really really wanted a pet.  Thankfully it only took about a day for Graham and Cuddles to fall in love and Cuddles became Graham's cat. One of my favorite memories is of Graham lying in bed, with Cuddles kneading his chest, purring away.  

We were so enamored with Cuddles that some of her more unique sounds became our codewords. Cuddles made this startling kind of yowl whenever she was at the vet, it sounded like "Yower!" and we interpreted it as "This is unbearable. I want to go home!"  So if Graham was having a bad day at work, he would call me and just say "Yower!" and I would understand.

Losing Graham after being together so many years is sort of like being left in a foreign land where nobody speaks my language. 

It was a wonderful feeling knowing I could always count on my husband to do the right thing, whether it was giving back extra change that a clerk had inadvertently overpaid him or changing the tire for an elderly woman stuck on the side of the road.

Graham was so incredibly competent.  He housetrained our dog Micki in one weekend while I was away on a business trip.  He even trained her to ring a bell to let us know when she wanted to go outside. 

After 20 years of marriage, everything reminds me of Graham.  Name anything and I could relate it to Graham.  But here are just a few of the obvious ones:  

a beautiful garden or perfectly cross hatched lawn.  Graham was so good at creating those.

which reminds me of Graham's favorite hat of choice when gardening, the pith helmet

an organized closet or garage...Graham always had a place for everything and everything in its place

a quality photograph  (In Boston, Graham used to moonlight as a wedding and Bar Mitzvah photographer)

Scrabble ( Graham was a killer Scrabble player. )

Home Depot, Graham's favorite store

galoshes and handkerchiefs (his grandmother trained him well) 

the Kiddush (which he sang so beautifully)  

any documentary about World War II, rusty ships or bugs  (what can I say, he's a guy)

and of course, anything having to do with cycling, his passion.  It's amazing how many people he converted into bicycle enthusiasts.

Graham was such a good good person. Just being around him and observing how he treated everyone he met with respect and thoughtfulness, made me more mindful of my own behavior.  He made me a better person. He had a knack for making people feel special, and it was always a pleasure to see how his kindness made a positive difference.

He loved his family and friends so much and would do anything for us.  I know that during his life and especially during his illness, he felt all of our love and he left this world feeling very cherished, and for that I thank all of you.