Double Whammy: Neutropenia & Fever

As Gilda Radner used to say, "It's always something." Today Graham got hit with a double whammy. He's gone into neutropenia (white blood cells took a dive and he's really susceptible to infection) and his fever came back. They transferred him to a private room. So I wonder if they'll let him out of the hospital tomorrow.

The course of Graham's disease has tended to go in plunges and plateaus. He's stable for a while, then something happens and some aspect of his health goes way downhill, but then we get used to the "new normal," go merrily on our way for a while, until the next plunge.

I'm sort of thinking a new plunge might be around the corner, but I hope I'm wrong.

We had a delightful visit with Rabbi Ezray today. What a sweetheart of a man. He exudes warmth and caring. He's had some pretty tough challenges thrown his way over the years, and like Graham, he also handles them with grace and kindness.

He's leaving shortly with 60 people from our congregation on a 3 week trip to Israel. We had originally planned to be part of the group, before Graham's cancer turned aggressive.

There are so many social, political, volunteer, religious and cultural events and activities that we would normally have enthusiastically done over the months, except for Graham's health crisis, and frankly, it's amazing how little we've missed them. Our calendar from the beginning of the year had something, usually several somethings, on almost every day of the month. Then, around April, we started only going to special events. From mid-June onward, the calendar is almost only filled with doctor's appointments.

It's far easier to "drop out" than I ever imagined. And I'm really good at saying "no" now. I used to have terrible guilt trips whenever I felt compelled to turn down a speaking gig or a volunteer opportunity, but now, not a problem! We do miss hanging out with our friends though.

And the Israel trip. Alas. Both Graham and I really regret not being able to go. For such a tiny country, there's always something new and wonderful and magical to see. And it's always a different experience depending on who you go with. It would have been so amazing to go with the sweet people from our synagogue. We're looking forward to a visit from Rabbi Ezray upon his return to hear about their adventures.