Graham's body was saying "Enough already!" over a month ago. Food had become repulsive to him, but he forced himself to eat. Now that he isn't fully conscious, his strong will is no longer in control, and his body has taken over. Since Saturday, when we put any food or water up to his mouth, he clamps it shut or waves us away.
On Saturday, there were still moments when Graham spoke to us. And when we talked to him, he would smile and you could see he was comprehending what was being said to him. But today, Sunday, he's been in a different state. He opens his eyes every once in a while, but he doesn't appear to really see.
He also woke up today with heavy chest congestion, which became very scary several times during the day. Lots of horrible gurgling that totally freaked me out. The medical staff said there was nothing to be done about it. Amazingly, he's able to sleep right through the gurgling.
Also his pulse is very fast, around 137.
In the morning, he started to make little moaning sounds, which broke my heart to think that he was in pain even when he was sleeping. We totally loaded him up on pain medication and the little moans didn't stop. But then I found that when I kissed him or stroked his back, they often stopped. When he had his massage, they stopped for the whole ENTIRE hour, and never started back up!! Such a relief for all involved.
We had visitors today who were very comforting to me, but alas, I don't think Graham knew they were there.
It was the first night of Hanukkah tonight and I "lit" the electric menorah since they don't allow candles here. The Hanukkah story [of the one day supply of oil for the eternal light (representing God's eternal love) in the Temple miraculously lasting eight days until more oil could be pressed] brings to mind how much longer Graham has remained with us than was expected by the doctors. It wasn't the cure we were hoping for, but the extra time has been precious.
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