This beautiful message is from Forsan H, our "honorary son". Through the International Friends program at Brandeis, Graham and I were Forsan's host parents when he was a student at Brandeis, and we've remained close with him ever since.
Forsan wrote this to be read during the funeral. He was in Jerusalem, but "attended" the funeral by listening in to cousin Paul's open cellphone.
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In my 12 years of living in America and having Graham in my life as a father and a friend, I have never met anyone so thoughtful and considerate as he was, so kind and calm, so genuine and sweet, and so optimistic—always seeing the glass half full. “Dr. Green” as I so often have endearingly called him, was a man who takes everything that life throws at him with a sense of perspective and a smile on top, a smile that brightens his entire face and calms those around him. He was a man with an exceptional ability to thrive on life’s challenges, physical or emotional, and to keep pushing further and further; a man who finds beauty, meaning, and happiness in the simple things in life: in biking, in gardening, in bird watching, in photography, and even in eating a simple meal. But above all, he was a man with the greatest sense of commitment and dedication to things he loves: to his sweetheart Lee, to his brother Gary, to his family and friends, to his work, and to his breakfast cereal—a relationship that dates back even older than his marriage! [ note from Lee: He was very loyal to Quaker Oats Low Fat Granola, because it was made in his hometown of Danville, IL ]
Graham’s life has been about leaving our world a better place than before. It was exactly two months ago on this day that I accompanied Graham to the Stanford Medical Hospital for a regular radiation appointment. That day, the doctor was late, and Graham was weak and weary. In our wait, we talked about life and its meaning. I asked him: “how do you deal with all that you are going through?” His response will ring vividly in my mind until the day I die. He said: “Throughout my life I have tried to be a part of something bigger than me that will help me make a meaningful contribution to this world…these days are no different. I wake up every morning and make it my mission to ‘contribute’ in my own way—either by making Lee smile, or by filling the bird feeder, or by fixing little things around the house.” What a way to live a life—Graham’s selfless nature and generosity of spirit are uplifting and in celebrating his life I take it upon myself to continue his mission and live my life by this very principle.
I feel privileged to have spent many days, but clearly not enough, with Graham and Lee in their home recently. This time, Graham’s always meticulously groomed beard was gone only to uncover a beautiful baby face, and a rock-solid fighter’s spirit. His battle against cancer was fought with so much patience, resilience, humility and grace. And in the midst of such a fierce fight, when most of us would be resentful and bitter, Graham continued to smile. And just as much as I will miss his smile, I will miss his strikingly beautiful deep voice—one of God’s many gifts to Graham! I already miss you “Dr. Green” and love you very much.
I am in Jerusalem at the moment listening to all of you celebrate Graham’s life and I only wish I could be there with you Lee. But as you leave the service, I will honor your husband’s life with a prayer and a visit to the holy sites of this city that Graham loves so much. I know he will be watching me from above, with a smile.
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